Love this, especially where you say God doesn't have to be Gods of any religion but rather nature, universe, destiny etc.

I am a Deist at this point and much of my mental struggle and internal conflict when I was an Atheist has diminished.

It's nigh impossible to use reason or logic to answer existential questions.

You are absolutely true about free will, we think we have free will but whatever "free will" we have is so insignificant that it has no bearing on the universe in the grand scheme.