An uncontrollable rage bubbles within me and I spit back poison at him. He looks dumbfounded. Everyone looks dumbfounded. I bore his toxic jeering for as long as I could. But there’s only so much that a person can bear.
A second later, he recovers himself, grabs me by my collar, snatches my water bottle, and flings it on the ground with all his might, shattering it to smithereens. “Ha! How’s that eh? That should teach you, bloody wuss.” he spits before walking away with a satisfied smile on his face.
I don’t remember how long I stood there, it could have been 5 minutes or 15. Trembling with rage, I trudge back home, lock myself up in the bathroom and pummel the walls with tears streaming down my face until my knuckles drip with blood.
I hated him, them, myself, and my life. If only I could show them.
If only I could be on the other side.
The Root of All Negative Emotions
A year or so later, my wish came true — I became a bully myself.
“Earlier, I hated them, now, I was hated and in both cases, I hated myself.”
Hitting the gym and befriending a “cool” gang of pricks skyrocketed my confidence and self-esteem. And this made my pent-up feelings from the bullying surface.
In my head, it was retribution for what I had gone through. Earlier, I hated them, now, I was hated and in both cases, I hated myself. I thought I was being “cool” and brave but no.
I was scared, scared of people thinking I was weak, scared of being reminded of my past self.
Things hadn’t changed. I still hated myself, still felt unhappy. How would things change when fear, the root of all negative emotions consumed me?
Yes, I think that every negative emotion is just a form of fear. Envy is the fear that you will never be as good as someone else. Despair is the fear that there’s no hope. Deception is the fear of being genuine.
Think about and examine every negative emotion you might have. Deep down, it is certain to be some sort of fear.
There’s Always a Positive Counterpart
Fast forward a few years and I was in college. Now, I was a fat, arrogant prick that cussed every second and strutted around boasting about how much he could lift.
Towards the end of my first year, a string of events triggered an epiphany and I emerged as a different person, both mentally and physically. I had shed a lot of weight and negativity.
Embracing positivity showed me that there was a positive counterpart for every single negative emotion as the emotion wheel below depicts.
For envy, there was admiration. For despair, there was hope. For unhappiness, there was happiness. For hate, there was indifference. For fear, there was love.
Yes, I realized that while fear was the source of every negative emotion, love was the source of every positive one.
Admiration for someone was love for whatever made them better than you. Hope was love for the future. Contentment was love for your present state. Genuinity was love for yourself. Joy was love for your mental state.
Always Choose Love
Choosing love completely changed my life. My world went from a dark dreary cesspit to a bright utopia. I could now find and appreciate positive things in everyone and everything.
“The world is just a great mirror that reflects your internal state.”
I felt genuinely happy for myself and more importantly for others. And I was liked, loved even. I made great friends, had a beautiful relationship, and forged unforgettable warm memories.
Feel happy, for yourself and for others. Show admiration, not jealousy for someone who’s better than you at something. Find and genuinely appreciate the positives in a person, not criticize their shortcomings. Train your perspective to look at every situation in a positive manner.
The world is just a great mirror that reflects your internal state. Choose positivity and your world will amplify and reflect back positivity at you.
There will always be some toxic and negative people but they are just tiny specks on an otherwise perfect mirror. Don’t entertain them or negativity of any form.
We are wired in a way that even a tiny amount of negativity can affect us significantly.
There are only two emotions — love and fear. Choose one and you reject the other, as Elizabeth Kubler says,
It’s true that there are only two primary emotions, love and fear. But it’s more accurate to say that there is only love or fear, for we cannot feel these two emotions together, at exactly the same time. They’re opposites. If we’re in fear, we are not in a place of love. When we’re in a place of love, we cannot be in a place of fear.”
Choose love and you will become a happy beacon of positive energy. Opt fear and a miserable blackhole of negativity you’ll become. Always choose love. Negative emotions can still crop up but that’s okay, you aren’t your emotions.
It’s the kind of emotions you choose that determines what you are. Be happy, for yourself and for others. Be genuine. Find and appreciate the positives in everything, even suffering.
Be a beacon of light in the dark and make the world a brighter place.
Thanks for reading! If you liked this, consider subscribing to my weekly newsletter to receive my top posts and tips on becoming and living better. Also, here are a few similar posts you might like,
I Have Realized That A Good Life Need Not Be Exciting
And that an exciting life need not be good
I Was Wrong About Happiness All My Life
In fact, most of us are. When, where, and why did we go so fundamentally wrong?