"but also because I feel truth" - lmao, this is exactly what God is.

The version of God you're referring to is what I've talked about in my other response - the commercial "dumbed-down" version that panders to the masses.

Either way, pick up the Bhagavad Gita or any Advaith Vedanthic work and decide for yourself.

You're a truth seeker, just like I am. And as someone that had been a hardcore atheist earlier, I empathize as well.

What I'm trynna convey can't be put in words is the problem.